Two Shepards
by KroganVanguard
Summary: Crackfill about how Paragon and Renegade Shepard might meet. And want to get it on. Don't judge me! KMeme prompt. Oneshot. Reviews would be awesome.


_Crackfill ahoy. Another KMeme prompt, which asked for a meeting between Paragon and Renegade Shepards (and smut, but I don't write that. You'll just have to be satisfied with weird AU UST). Completely not serious, but reviews still my addiction of choice. _

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"You are a psychopath, woman!" Disgust laced his voice. Emerald green eyes were as hard as the stone, his dark brown hair sweat-slicked. He held his Revenant LMG like it was made out of paper, trained on her with one hand, a folded up Black Widow on his back. The N7 armour was dented and cracked, spattered with blood. Mostly from others.

"You're weak. I have no idea how you managed to get this far, pandering to a collection of fools, making soft choices!" She snarled back. Red scars patterned her face, glowingly demonically on her coal-black skin. Once-brown eyes also glowed red, completing the terrifying visage. A closer inspection would revealed a face handsome rather than pretty, nose crooked from when it was once broken. She held her Mattock pointed straight on him, her tech armour glowing and obscuring the similarly cracked and battered condition of her own N7 armour.

"You are both here because of what you have done. You have succeeded where a hundred billion universes have not. The Crucible and I exist outside of space and time, and you are both the only ones to have reached this far. Now you must decide." Two sets of eyes swiveled to watch the extremely irritating hologram/AI blink out.

"If only getting rid of him was that easy," she drawled. "Of course, you're probably thinking of trying to talk him into changing his mind."

"Shooting first and asking questions later, that's more your style. No doubt since Torfan." His voice was flat. They looked at each other again, and he lowered his gun first, like they knew he would. She held her stance a moment, then followed suit.

"So, the kid told me. Earth, gangs, Torfan. Sacrificed the Ascension and the Council. Gave the The Illusive Man what he wanted. Sold out the krogan. Lost Jack, Jacob, Thane, Wrex...woman, how are you even standing here?" This time, his voice held a note of disbelief, as if he could not even begin to imagine how that torturous route could have been traversed. He ran his fingers through his hair, leaned back against the wall, not quite relaxing.

"Whereas you, Mr-I'm-too-good-for-my-own-good...Alliance command lineage, humanity's hero on Elysium. Saved the Ascension and the Council. Destroyed the Collector Base on principle. Saved all your crew that you could. Created peace between the geth and quarians. Gave the krogan the future. I mean come on. That's ridiculous." She eased her fingers through her hair, mimicking his gesture unconsciously, and then rolled her shoulder as she eased an old ache before striding over to him. He stood not quite one inch taller than her, just enough that she had to look up. She hated that.

"So, paragon of the galaxy. I'm Commander Jane Shepard, nice to meet you." She offer her hand. He grasped it firmly, callused fingers meeting callused fingers. She felt a shiver go through her spine. Not unpleasant. Absolutely not welcome.

"Commander John Shepard...renegade." She gave him a flinty smile at that. She liked that word. She did do things her own way. The Catalyst had left them in a large room, mostly bare, though a table and two chairs were there next to them. At one stretched a hallway which split into the three corridors. They both looked at it. She realised that they had both heard the same speech in their own universes before they'd ended up here. Wherever and whenever here was. If it existed all. Heck for all she knew, Harbinger had indoctrinated her and she was suffering delusions while dying in the streets of London.

"Penny for your thoughts, Commander."

"Call me Jane. You're me after all. Or I'm you. Either way, we shouldn't really be formal with each other." She swivelled, and headed for one of the chairs. Now that the adrenalin was wearing off, she could feel the aches and pains that inhabited her body come back. As usual, there was the pain from the scars. That was a familiar pain, one she'd lived with it. Come to almost cherish. Staring at his unblemished face stirred up some doubts. She squashed them. Now was no time for wandering through her regrets.

He took the other, broad shoulders slumping. At least they didn't look alike, she mused. That would have been far too strange. She definitely found him strangely attractive. Was that incestuous? Masturbatory? Both? Neither? Probably all of them and none. His eyes met hers, and for a moment she thought he could tell what she was thinking. That his chocolate brown hair needed her fingers running through it. That those green eyes would look even sexier if she was teasing him with her fingers. She cleared her throat. This was hardly the time.

"Never told me those thoughts." His voice had a melodic quality to it. One that made you listen. Or made her listen anyway.

"Well first I was wondering if I'd been indoctrinated, and this was one of Harbinger's extra special delusions."

He snorted. "Hard to even joke about that. Wouldn't be surprised though. Object Rho, the Human Reaper...maybe its been a dream all along." He quirked his lips into a not quite a smile. Nice lips they were too.

"Now that would be a terrible ending. Surely the universe isn't that cruel. Either mine or yours," she replied. "Then I was wondering what...happened. To you. To your Garrus. Kaidan. Ash. Tali. Liara. If your way was better, or mine?" Her voice had started of strong, but tailed away towards the end. The last few years had afforded precious opportunities to reflect, and she had squandered them regardless.

"Yeah. Now that's something I was wondering too. Virmire was...insanity. I left Ash behind, defending the tower."

"Kaidan, the same. Didn't have time to sort through everyone's shit before the Omega 4 Relay. I think Thane got what he wanted, at least. The rest..." She allowed regret to flavour her tone. Her fingers fiddled with her omni-tool. She found it hard to meet his eyes, but when she did look up at them, she only found understanding. Possibly the only one who could understand. He reached out, took her hands in his, running warm fingers over hers. That shiver down the back of her spine returned with a vengeance, and suddenly there was a level of heat in his eyes that mirrored hers. He gave a wry smile at that, withdrawing his hands, visibly tamping down his reactions. She was surprised at her own level of disappointment. That had felt good in places that hadn't felt good in years.

"So, what, you're with someone? Miranda? No wait, she isn't nice enough for you. Liara." Could you be jealous of your alternate universe counterpart's girlfriend? She didn't know how to feel.

"No. Command has its price. Maybe there could have been, with Ash. But..." He smiled again, that easy grin that she found herself partial to all too soon.

"Same. Kaidan, then Thane. My bad luck with men," she said bleakly. Another set of regrets she'd carried around with her over the years. He nodded. Perhaps the Catalyst was right. Perhaps there was something to the oddly familiar paths they had traversed. She glanced over again at the end of the hallway, the choices that awaited them. He followed her eyes, and then grimaced.

"You know, the little shit could be lying to us." Her voice had an edge of anger, scars glowing ever so slightly. Subconsciously her hand drifted back to her gun.

"He certainly needs to hear about the geth and the quarians. About Joker and EDI." His voice was calmer, collected, but no less determined.

"Geth and the quarians huh? How you pulled that out of your ass, I don't know." He shrugged at her comment. She envied his calm, emanating in waves. Settling over her. Felt safe. Warm. Comfortable.

"Lets just go find him. 2 Shepards...he has to crack. One way or the other." He snapped a fresh thermal clip into this Revenant, hands as practiced as hers. She liked that. She liked it a lot.

"Oh? I thought shooting things was my speciality." She smiled at him, teasing him with her voice. He smiled back, this one reaching those wonderful green eyes. Had they really been as cold as ice before? It didn't seem possible.

"No. I try to be good. Not nice. World of difference." He turned around to check on something, giving her the opportunity to step forward. When he turned back, she was there, right in his face, fingers reaching for his chestpiece. She jerked him down to her lips. crushing his resistance with her enthusiasm. Lips met, and her tongue insisted on entry past his. He relented quickly and then they were in each others arms, tongues exploring, duelling. Passionately. She felt a fire sweep through her body, engulfing her. He wasn't weak. He was as strong as her and for the first time she met someone as an equal. Equal in strength, equal in intelligence. She didn't know how long the kiss went. It was one perfect moment, and then they were stepping back, catching their breath. His eyes burned into hers. She smiled, wolfishly, fiercely.

"First, we're going to go and find that bastard. You talk to him, I'll shoot him. Then, I'm going to fuck you silly. Then we go home." Her words brooked no dissent. He didn't give her any. They stepped out to search for the Catalyst. Two Shepards. They could do anything.

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_Lastly, I would be remiss not to mention a wonderful piece of ParagonShepXRenegadeShep art that served as inspiration. It can be found on deviantart, and was by ghostfire. Any ME fans should know it. _


End file.
